In recent months I’ve come to the conclusion that there are few, if any, options for a man who wants to live a free life with minimal state involvement, and yet at the same time marry and have kids.
The marriage part is difficult enough to navigate, but apart from that is also the kids.
Apparently there are some men who actually contemplate the notion of having children through surrogacy, thinking it will save them from the state by not marrying.
Boxer breaks it down well in his post on how your children are not yours and therefore surrogacy is not an option to avoid the state.
Remember, gentlemen, you do not have any say over your kids. Your children belong to the feminist state. Once you internalize this truth, you’ll find yourself ready to participate in Marcuse’s great refusal.
I’d add that any man who wants to have a surrogate child better accept that he will be quietly suspected of any number of weird lifestyle choices. Protest all you want, but that is the reality. And considering some of the weirdos I’ve met who adopted kids but never married, the suspicion is justified just as much as that aimed at unmarried women who adopt.
However, there’s a separate issue that people tend to get confused on.
There is the moral, and then there is the practical.
Morally, and rightfully, your children are yours until they become of age to care for themselves. The state has no business telling you how to raise your kid. I’m not arguing against that.
However, practically speaking you are a temporary steward of those kids – the state implicitly claims them as their own the moment they are born. Practically speaking, it can take them from you whenever it pleases and on whatever pretense it desires. If they think you won’t comply with the CPS worker who shows up to collect your kids, they will bring a law enforcement officer along who will have no hesitation (and would likely enjoy) demonstrating his power over you while it happens.
If you send them to state-run schools, any values you hold that don’t correlate with that of the state will be undermined and your authority denigrated in the eyes of your children. If you try to homeschool your kids, you will be watched for any unorthodox behavior or views as pretext to seize them. If you send them to private schools, they are also watched for anything that might be deemed too radical, and they know it.
And don’t think that taking your kids to the middle of nowhere will help, either. Unless you’re in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness or somewhere so remote it would take too many resources to do anything, you will show up on the radar at some point.
The fastest and easier way to attract attention is trying to be left alone, because it sends the message that you’re doing something they don’t want you to do.
You may think all of what I wrote above is unfair. You may deny the state’s claim all you want. But unless you’re capable of exerting superior force and violence to the point where they will cease to bother you, then you have to acknowledge their claim when making life choices, because they are stronger than you and can do what they want if they want.
One of the great tragedies of the modern world is we renounce the notion that “might makes right” by foolishly believing “right makes might.” It doesn’t. You can be in the right as you protest your son being dragged off by the state because taught him some religious viewpoint considered dangerously “extreme.” You can then protest all you want as he gets passed around foster homes and eventually dies from neglect or abuse.
That doesn’t change the fact that it happened and you couldn’t stop it. And if you knew what could happen, you have a responsibility to take the precautions needed to avoid that situation to the best of your ability.
I’m not arguing that men shouldn’t get married or have kids (the former before the latter, if you will – thank you). I’m saying they if they do, they should do so with full knowledge of what they’re doing and the risks they expose themselves to of state violence – and plan accordingly.
Don’t have a kid and then do stupid stuff that all but guarantees a confrontation with the state.