A great irritant of mine is a particular quip I hear when I try to explain how our society, culture, and political scene are contrary to the natural order of things.
Try telling someone, for example, that having mothers dump their kids off at daycare the day after they crawl out of the womb is a bad idea and see how well that goes. Or tell marriage advocates that maybe they should try encouraging kids to get married when they’re in their early twenties instead of in their early thirties. Better yet, ask them what incentives there are for men to get married. Proclaim your desire to have more than 2.5 children.
Without fail, you will get the same line:
“This isn’t the 1950s anymore!”
The bitter irony is that those who use this line only say that when rejecting things that go against the cultural, social, and political status quo, but not when it comes to holding men accountable to the standards and expectations of the 1950s. They are more than happy to pretend the changes during the Sexual Revolution and the three waves of feminism didn’t come with a cost.
It shouldn’t be too much of a shock to discover one of the flaws in their reasoning; a profound disinterest and even contempt for what young men want. One thing you will never, ever, ever see them do is actually ask a young man why he is acting the way he is and try to get his perspective. They are not interested. They don’t care. They also don’t want to find out because he might make sense. They might discover that he isn’t the problem, but he’s responding rationally to the perverse incentives the state has created.
Not only are they totally ignorant about what is going on but they won’t listen. What makes it tenfold intolerable is that they are the ones trying to force their beliefs down other people’s throats.
There’s nothing worse than an ignorant person trying to push their ignorance onto others, i.e. unconscious incompetence.
Recently Dalrock wrote what I consider to be one of the most important articles to date written on the topic that included this explanation of what incentivizes men to get married.
Marriage isn’t what socializes and civilizes men. Marriage is the incentive for men to first work to civilize themselves, and then to lead and protect civilization. But the incentive of marriage isn’t limited just to sex. In a healthy society marriage offers an even more powerful reward for men than sex. In a healthy society, marriage and fatherhood confer something even more precious to men, respect (emphasis added).
While men will take great risks in part out of a desire for sex, the desire for respect goes even further. The men who willingly gave their lives at Thermopylae did not do so with the expectation of being rewarded with sex. There were no 72 virgins promised to these men. Nor did they entertain the fantasy that they would somehow route the Persian horde and return in triumph. Their motivation, their goal at the Hot Gates was to die an honorable death and thereby earn the profound respect of their society. Likewise the nearly 4,000 Kamikaze pilots in WWII didn’t expect to return home and be lavished with sex. Honor was the only reward for their act of sacrifice.
In other words, a healthy society honors those who deserve respect. Marriage is a huge responsibility for a man, but it is also extremely beneficial for society for men to marry, and so married men should be respected.
You create incentives for things which are conducive to society, like marriage, and discourage incentives for things which harm the social order.
This was the case in the past.
But is this the case today?
Dalrock goes on:
As a society we have become incredibly miserly when it comes to respect for men. In addition, the respect we do offer tends to be for men who are working against and not for civilization. Men who work to become husbands and fathers are viewed with either contempt or deep suspicion (emphasis added).
This disdain for respectable men isn’t only coming out of secular Hollywood or the radical feminists leading Women’s Studies departments. This same disdain for husbands and fathers is held with surprising fervor by conservatives, especially conservative Christians. It has become a tradition for pastors to use Father’s Day, a day set aside to honor fathers, as a day to tear husbands and fathers down in front of their families. Christian media is no better. Just like secular movies, Christian movies portray husbands and fathers as villains, failures, and buffoon (emphasis added).
It really isn’t the 1950s anymore. If people want men to behave now the same way men did back then, they might want to look at what changed in the interim.
But they won’t.