This war on our favorite food must be crushed. What’s cooked in the privacy of our kitchens and in our frying pans is none of their friggin’ business. I have a right to choose to consume as much bacon as I want. If I want to turn a baked potato into an entree (to quote Jim Gaffigan) with bacon bits, then damnit, I’m going to do it. If I want to wrap bacon around asparagus and use the bacon grease to cook my eggs, it’s my body, my choice.
In fact, I’m eating a pound of bacon tonight, just to spite them. Food freedom fighters of the world unite against pork-hating tyrants!